03 July 2011

This trip was planned in June, but was postponed due to the typhoon that struck the country. Actually, this trip almost didn't push again because one of mom's friends (who owns the van we used for traveling) was complaining about abdominal pains. Despite the uncomfortable feeling, she still decided to go on with this trip.

The primary "mission" of this trip was to pray and reflect. I didn't join the exchange of reflections between my mom and her two colleagues, but because I was just nearby, in my mind I also shared my own reflection.

I realized I didn't really know how to pray. Hearing their words - how they interact with God and all - I suddenly felt ashamed of myself that I get distracted easily and that my thoughts wander as I pray. One moment I'd thank God for a blessing, then I'd talk about something I want, then I'd go back to something I am thankful about. Praying isn't something natural for me, though I exclaim "thank you God" every now and then regardless of how small a blessing may be.

I am thankful for this trip. I am thankful that I was able to admit a dark spot in my communication with God. I know I am a sinful person. I sin everyday, and I don't pretend to be an angel or a saint. Me going to churches, visiting shrines and religious places is admitting the fact that I am a sinner and that I am visiting God to say sorry and pray to help me wash away the sins. I remember in 2009, I am reminded that God pursues us, no matter how we try to stay far from Him. This trip was His way of pursuing me, and I am thankful for it.

Exploring more of the place, we found this prayer room, and took our own time praying alone. This was the place where I told God about my concerns about my prayers. If you're reading this, please pray for me - that I may be able to learn how to pray. Come to think of it... how should one pray?


Before we left, we took some relaxing time at a different part of the place, but we didn't stay that long because it rained. Despite the short visit, we all believe this was a good place to get in touch with one's self, and we will surely go back there again to explore more.

*** Jenn ***