Two weeks ago, I talked about my cat Teddy, and although we lost her kitties just two days after she gave birth, there was a new source of happiness: my cat Lilith giving birth.

Lilith is not my favorite cat; in fact, she was the most aloof cat we had - probably because all the other adult cats seemed to dislike her that she would just distance herself. She wasn't like that before - when she gave birth the first time, she was right next to me, and on the second one, she quickly ran to me for some help, as if I was her mom and she was my teenage daughter. Anyway, since she already distanced herself, I knew she wouldn't run to me even if she also got pregnant a few weeks after Teddy. I didn't know where she gave birth, but everytime I fed my cats and saw some wet circles around her mammary glands, I was happy knowing her kitten(s) is/are doing okay.

I was surprised one day when brother called on me to say Lilith just dropped a kitten that looks like our cat Oreo. I knew that was her kitten, and as always, just one kitten for her. I let them in the house, and just like the old Lilith I know, she sought help from me, and carried her kitten on my bed. For the next days, they became my bed mates, but since the kitten already opened his eyes (it's a male cat), it became a bit difficult to control the kitten from wandering, and I got a little worried because the adult male cats were clearly hating the new addition to the family and would try to bite the kitten every chance they have. Of course, I was there to protect the kitten, but Lilith found a way to protect her kitten without all the fuss - carrying the kitten in my closet.

The kitten became mature and really wanted to go out and wander, so they are my bed mates again. I am happy seeing this kitten growing, but my happiness wasn't 100% because I have been seeing problems with the kitten - his left eye is always closed because of thick mucus and now that the kitten has lots of teeth, it still refuses to eat solid food. This was a very heartbreaking scene - with all the cats we had, the first taste of solid food was like a drug for them, something they couldn't get enough of. This kitten, ate a little solid food at first, but after that, it refuses to open her mouth whenever I would offer food. The kitten is quickly losing weight, because at times Lilith would shoo off the kitten every time the kitten would come to suck some milk. There was no veterinarian near our place, so I felt helpless.

Still, seeing the kitten alive and okay (somehow) makes me happy. Despite his current state he would love sleeping next to me - and would even crawl inside my shirt/blouse just so he could be real close to me. Every night, before I say good night to the kitten, I would say a prayer to make him okay because I want to see him become an adult cat. I really hope that will become true.

This is the third time Lilith gave birth... and this is the third time her kitten has become an extension of myself. Thinking of the kitten's state makes me teary eyed, somehow I feel I am losing him anytime soon, but like they say... hope is a rope which I should hold on to.

*** Jenn ***