Oh how timely... I am watching ANTM while typing this, and their photoshoot topic was about bullying. They had to "wear" the word people used to bully them, while wearing the word that they are now - giving a statement that "the end doesn't really justify the means." Connecting it to the 30 Days of Truth... from something I "hate" about myself, now it's about:

Day 2 - Something You LOVE About Yourself

Ask me this question maybe three years ago, I would seriously go blank for a long time. Not that I hated myself so much... I just can't see something there is to love about myself. No wonder all my relationships failed. I didn't love myself back then, why would I hope people will love me back? I think I am one of those people has the appearance that only parents can love... but would you believe I haven't heard my parents told me I am beautiful? Once I asked my dad, "Am I beautiful?" He answered, "Of course. You're my daughter!" I know my parents love me very much, but they haven't really told me I am beautiful. I am not blaming them, but...it was really difficult to find beauty in myself knowing even my parents don't consider me as someone beautiful, in the literal concept of it.

In one of the inspirational notes I had, it said, "Angels in disguise exist." Love for oneself starts from within, but I can also say that seeing how people love me can also help me love myself. I got friends, yes, but in my life I have to thank two particular persons who have helped me love myself. One would be my ex bf Doc. Our relationship was internet based, but it lasted two years. He wasn't only my boyfriend, he was also my psychologist. During my fragile times, I would always shoo him away and he would always say, "...holding your hand, and not letting go." The way he helped me appreciate myself and accept myself the way I am was really something I would be thankful forever. Other person would be my friend K. I also got to meet him online, but unlike Doc, we already got to meet personally and in November we would be celebrating our second year anniversary. Thinking about how he accepted me (flabs and all) was mind blowing - even I can't understand how and/or why he loves me. He picked up where Doc left off, and because of him, I am loving myself more than ever.

With the renewed spirits, it would be difficult to write down the things I love myself, so I will just list down the FIRST ten things that will come to mind:


My Smile. The girl who never knew how to smile truly has come a long way. Smiling is one of the easiest things I could do, and people have complimented me a lot of times because of it.

Simplicity. My parents came from poor families, and I was born in a poor family, too. I may be deprived, but I have come to know how to live simple. While some people would complain about not having "enough" food on their table, I would be a happy foodie if I had rice, bagoong balayan and tomatoes for lunch. Also, it's very easy to satisfy me. I don't really go for the lavish, extravagant things... but of course, if one would give me some lavish things, I would gladly accept it. What I am saying is that - even if you give me a Panda or a Parker ballpen, the degree of happiness will be the same.

I Don't Get Angry Easily. Get annoyed, yes.. but my annoyance only has a lifespan of 5 minutes. If ever I get annoyed with you, just go and talk to me after 5 minutes, and I will be okay already.

I Forgive Easily, Too. It would take a lot for me to get angry, but when I finally get angry, it would take sometime for me to process things. However, should one say sorry, I would be okay with that. Sadly, I may forgive, but I don't forget. Sometimes, I have already forgiven the person, but the degree of what was done to me can be a reason for me to flee away from the person. Still, I don't hold any grudges in my heart. I just don't want to be hurt again, or maybe staying "friends" might be a stupid thing to do, so I'd just move on with life.

The Shutter Happy Me. Since the day I discovered what "macro" photography is through my cell phone, it opened a new door for me. I still am not a very great photographer (sometimes I still don't consider myself one - I think I am still more of picture taker rather than a photographer), but I do take pride that I take good pictures, too, and the compliments (whether real or not) are just proofs that I have talent in photography.

My Voice. I cannot sing like Celine Dion, but I can carry a tune. Also, people who have heard me speak on the phone always tell me I have a good voice. I thought my speaking voice sounded like a child, but if they say it's good, then it's good. :)

Being Frugal. Give me three thousand pesos and I can have a very great trip that will cover Baguio, La Union, and Vigan. Of course, that's just one example how frugal I am.

My Cooking. If not for my brother who told me, "If you love to eat, you gotta learn how to cook" when I was about 13 or 14... I would have never tried my cooking skills. Now that I have taking on the path of testing recipes printed in magazines, I love that I still haven't cooked a bad food yet. Expanding my horizons in cooking is an assurance that I can survive in this world. *grins*

Realizing I Really Have to Lose Weight. I wanted to lose weight since my elementary days. Being half-hearted about it hindered me to actually achieve my goal, but about a month ago, I have finally drew the last straw, and I love that I am giving more of my attention to it. I have lost 4lbs. so far, but I am not giving up. I know I can reach my goal weight.

I am Loving Myself More. I love that I have a positive outlook in life now, I am in a much happier disposition, and I am enjoying my life more.

In closing, let me share this:

"Dance like no one is watching,
love like you'll never be hurt,
sing like no one is listening,
and live like it's heaven on earth."
- William Purkey

Life is short... love yourself now - it's the least you can do to yourself. Yeah, it's something I need to tell myself often, too.

Next Sunday - Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.

*** Jenn ***